We need Shearer to produce a miracle out of sorry mess

We are reduced to prayer, to a faint hope that, thus warned, Geordies will somehow be reprieved at the very gates of damnation.

Nothing on form suggests such a happy outcome. Nothing in a rag-bag of a squad.

Yet maybe, just maybe, a Geordie icon, Alan Shearer can conjure a miracle out of a mess.

Aston Villa and Hull must be denied a win, preferably even a point. The Uniteds of Newcastle and Manchester must unite in victory on the road. Sunderland losing, too, at home to Chelsea would help just in case. There are many permutations but you get the drift.

It is time to clutch straws blowing in the wind because we can do nothing else.

Shearer, it is hoped, can repeat what another Geordie legend, Kevin Keegan, did all those years ago and conjure up a last day reprieve.

Cast your mind back if you will to May of 1992 at Filbert Street. United and Leicester were locked at 1-1 deep into injury time when Steve Walsh dramatically put through his own goal and the Mags were saved from an even greater humiliation, a drop into the Third Division.

Own goal? We don't care. We'll take that again. No problem! In our dreams we can see it now.

But reality is a cruel, cold thing and the truth we're trying to escape is that the collective players available to Shearer are of such a poor quality that it is virtually impossible to patch over the total lack of legs and creativity. What we have is a bunch of has-beens and non-entities raking in astronomical wages but failing to deliver on promises.

Bottom line, United are mathematically favourites for the drop. That's about the size of it.

If there is to be a con and an escape from the death sentence then where does hope lie, apart from in the stature of Shearer and memories of KK?

Well, Villa are but a pale shadow of the gloriously attacking side that swept all before it earlier and had Martin O'Neill dreaming of Champions League football.

They have lost the art of winning matches and some of them are already on the beach.

Equally, Hull are as dire as Newcastle so may not be able to take advantage of Manchester United's indifference, with the Premier League title already in the trophy cabinet and Barcelona looming on the horizon.

Will Fergie do a favour to a No 9 who twice turned him down flat as a player? We have to hope so!

Hull are diabolical at their own place, having the worst home record in the Premier League with only three victories all season, which indicates they may not be capable of forging a reprieve. Then we come to Sunderland, hated rivals of those who live by the Tyne. They will not be expected to beat Chelsea under Guus.

The final piece of passing flotsam for Geordies to cling to is goal difference - United's is better than that of both Hull and Sunderland should they end up level on points.

Nevertheless, the one-point advantage held by Hull, however flimsy, is the killer because if they and Newcastle both draw it'll be too little too late for Geordies everywhere. Sunderland lie two points away closer to safety.

Oh, for goodness sake, let's stop. It's horrendous. Desperate. Full of maybes and maybe nots.

Let us instead concentrate on the Magpies and whether they can keep their part of the bargain. They have to get some reward at Villa Park for a start, a job they couldn't do with home advantage against Fulham.

It is owed by a few to so many. Will they deliver after letting everyone down so often this hellish season?

Do pigs fly? Well, as a matter of fact Liverpool once famously had a goalkeeper Tommy Lawrence who was known as The Flying Pig!