United need a shift in fortunes tonight

They have a sugar daddy like no other. Mike Ashley isn't at the same hoopla stall!

And Sheikh Mansour doesn't even interfere with his manager Mark Hughes. Oh, the luxury of it all.
Uncle Joe Kinnear, released from his touchline ban, will be in the dug out for his home debut after United's rising from the dead for a morale-boosting 2-2 draw at Everton.

The Toon Army are willing to warmly welcome JFK because the desperate need is for him to conjure a win from somewhere.

A relegation position doesn't sit comfortably on Geordie shoulders, but that's where we are after a succession of defeats only halted at Goodison last time out.

While a national television audience watches the likes of Robinho, Jo, Elano and Shaun Wright-Phillips with fascination, let us hope it's United who produce a match-winner.

Kinnear needs more players fit and available, and his prayers are beginning to be answered with Habib Beye, Jonas Gutierrez and Oba Martins looking lively once again on the training ground, and Joey Barton about to make himself available after a long rest at the FA and Her Majesty's pleasure.

However, all that is offset by the considerable blow of Michael Owen's absence tonight with yet another niggling injury sustained in training.

The lad is as delicate as porcelain.

Typical, isn't it, that at the end of an international fortnight when Owen hasn't been away with England, he still ends up hurt and missing United's next game!

The timing of a goalscoring performance this evening to remind Fabio Capello of his existence would have been perfect at the end of an international period when England's most prolific scorer still wearing football boots was ignored.

Maybe the sheer pace of the teenager who struck a breathtaking goal against Argentina to announce his arrival is now less blistering, and maybe Owen doesn't play outside of the penalty box the way Capello likes, but he can still notch regularly given the opportunity.

Now we must wait and hope the Sunderland derby marks his return to arms.

One point only out of the last 15 and having, temporarily at least, dropped back down to second bottom, Newcastle go into a tricky fixture needing to conjure a goal - or goals - from somewhere and then halt a fluid City side packed with attackers.

However, in case your memory deceives you, we've actually experienced worse.

Remember 1999-2000 when after seven matches - the same as currently played - United had only a solitary point from a 3-3 home draw with Wimbledon?

That was not just Newcastle's worst Premier League start, but the worst of any club.

Ruud Gullit was in charge and famously produced his suicide note in the shape of the team sheet for a home derby with Sunderland when he relegated Alan Shearer and Duncan Ferguson to the subs' bench - and consequently lost.

From being four points worse off than they currently are, United stayed up comfortably in the end with an 11th-place finish.

Mind you, the club wasn't so rotten then - all it required was a change of manager from the self-destructive Gullit to Bobby Robson.

This time, of course, the Mags have had three managers already during their seven-match programme and house an owner with his parachute on ready to bail out.